Government

$60 Trump Bibles Include U.S. Constitution... Minus All The 'Equal Protection' Or 'Presidential Term Limits' Stuff

Trump's new constitutional canon leaves off all those amendments his supporters might not like.

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A few years ago, Donald Trump couldn’t figure out which side of a Bible was up. Now, the thrice married man on trial for trying to cover up hush money payments to the porn star he cheated on his most recent wife with sells Bibles for $59.99. Not since Saul took a day trip to Damascus has the world witnessed such a conversion!

It might seem like $60 is a lot of money for a text available online for free, but Trump sweetened the pot by including the text of the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, the lyrics to God Bless the USA, and the U.S. Constitution. Also things anyone can readily find online for free. Anyway, since this proposition clocks in somewhere between NFTs (which Trump also sells) and physically setting your money on fire, purchasing and perusing the Trump Bible was not a priority for a lot of people.

For the record, physically setting your money on fire is most preferred of the three.

That’s perhaps why it’s taken a few weeks for folks — specifically the good folks at Meidas Touch — to realize that the tome’s notably missing content. No, not the deuterocanonical books… just the parts of the United States Constitution that Trump’s Supreme Court picks have deemed apocrypha.

Though it also doesn’t include the deuterocanonical books. Worth remembering when he rants about how Joe Biden hates Catholics.

The Trump version of the Constitution dutifully exalts the Bill of Rights, a feat once thought anathema to conservatives. But now that the First Amendment means squelching protesters and the Eighth Amendment means criminals should not be forced to disgorge the fruits of their crimes, they can join the earlier vibe-based interpretation of the Second Amendment as right-wing articles of faith.

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Alas, after the Bill of Rights, Trump’s version of the Constitution just erases the rest of the text from constitutional law like it’s the Apocalypse of Peter.

From Meidas Touch News:

Multiple video reviews analyzed by MeidasTouch revealed that notably missing from the Constitution in Trump’s Bible are the amendments following the Bill of Rights which make up the Constitution’s first 10 amendments. Trump’s Bible jumps from the original Constitution to the Bill of Rights and then to the Pledge of Allegiance, skipping constitutional amendments 11-27.

This, of course, allows Trump’s most loyal fans the luxury of not dwelling on the end of slavery, equal protection, a couple voting rights amendments, or the income tax. Limiting Trump to two possible terms as president gets overlooked as well.

One of the best headlines from the Onion reads “Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be.” Back then, ill-informed citizens just cobbled together a rudimentary worldview from talk radio and cable news. Trump can go one better and peddle a new canon of constitutional law for his most gullible followers to cite as literal gospel.

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Fourteenth Amendment? Not in OUR Constitution… look it up, libs!

Hey, maybe we’ve finally found something Trump would be willing to hand over to the National Archives!

Amendment Abolishing Slavery Missing from Trump’s Bible [Meidas Touch]

HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.

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