The Onion

As opposed to the previous two years, where he conducted himself like a normal person.

Damn you, Illuminati!

Awww, don't cry little shitposter!

Tu stultus es, indeed.

* No more baseball rules for preteens in New Jersey — Progress! [New Jersey Monitor]

* In Missouri and plan on voting? Here’s a primer. [Missouri Independent]

* Michigan’s abortion laws may be subject to change. Take 3 to learn about Prop 3. [Axios]

* Supreme Court slated to hear Alabama’s voting rights case. Welp, democracy was nice while it lasted. [Reuters]

* The Onion makes it way to the Supreme Court. No, seriously. [NYT]

The best satire is based on truth.

He just... doesn't get it, does he?

Nowadays it's easy to confuse real life with satire.

Gorsuch having trouble with the rowdy Supreme Court.

* Sure, this is the Onion, but seriously, it isn’t far off. [The Onion]

* The history of judge-bashing: Trump is part of a populist tradition. [New York Magazine]

* Startups don’t have to involve technological know-how. [Law and More]

* I’m sure this won’t undermine the judiciary. I mean, I’m not sure at all, but we have the leader of the free world tweeting insults to jurists, so relatively speaking… [Gaveling]

* The suicide that is rocking K Street. [Huffington Post]

* Can your shade of hair change your ability to be taken seriously at work? [Corporette]

* Nope, having gay friends isn’t the same as a disciplined policy position on gay rights. [Slate]

* And you thought women were people. Silly rabbit. [The Slot]

* Presented, without comment. [The Onion]

* An underaged selfie might be a sex crime. [Slate]

* Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker wants to drug test people before they get food stamps. Federal court promptly throws out the case. [Huffington Post]

* One proposal for fixing law school. [401k Guy]

* Is Greenberg Traurig’s reputation taking a hit because of its association with Donald Trump? [Law and More]

* A cartoon re-enactment of the most insane courtroom exchange ever. Now in color. [io9]

Ed. note: Happy Thanksgiving! Above the Law will be dark tomorrow for the holiday and on a reduced publishing schedule on Friday, November 27.

* This is one way to make sure atheist voices are heard… and immediately mocked. [Indy Star]

* A roundup of fun and wacky recent cases. [Texas Lawyer]

* A practical guide for lawyers looking to embark on annual planning. [Associate’s Mind]

* Finally, resolution on Judge Ashley Tabaddor’s lawsuit against the DOJ after the DOJ ordered her off all cases involving Iranians based on her heritage. [PAAIA]

* It’s the holidays, so take time to catch up with friends — just make sure you do it in this incredibly photogenic way. [The Onion]

* John Kasich takes a swing at the big dog, Trump. This is one time that invoking Godwin’s Law doesn’t seem like hyperbole. [YouTube]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=qCQhBYEMRQI&app=desktop

Uh oh. What kind of trouble has Justice Alito gotten himself into now?

A frighteningly cruel and capricious future Supreme Court justice.

* The New York Post responds to critics of its Boston attack coverage. [The Onion] * I’m just going to quote our tipster on this one because I cannot improve upon his commentary: “Because we should publicize every time a Donald Trump lawsuit fails.” [Chronicle of Higher Education] * DOUBLE F**KING NEWSFLASH: this pissed off sorority girl will write the BEST cease and desist letters someday. [Gawker] * CVS: the place with the helpful, anti-Asian racist staff! [Associated Press via Yahoo! Finance] * The Supreme Court stands up to warrantless searches. Sort of. [Simple Justice] * Sports franchise owners totally rip off the communities they supposedly serve? [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * You’d think an intellectual property firm would know better than to commit copyright violations. [Law 360] * Good news, law students! You can get a casebook for the low, low price of $200! [PrawfsBlawg] * Rachel Ray sued for negligence in trying to help a teen lose weight. If the goal was weight loss, Rachel should have just forced the girl to exclusively eat from Rachel Ray’s cookbook. Nothing can turn someone off eating like that. [US Weekly]

What happens when Supreme Court justices get down and "drink [their] asses off"?

Striking down the judicial precedent that established the legal supremacy of right over wrong more than two centuries ago, the U.S. Supreme Court on Wednesday overturned Right v. Wrong. The landmark reversal — a bitterly contested 5-4 decision that has been widely praised by murderers, rapists, bigots, usurers, and pro-wrong advocates nationwide — nullifies all […]

I just wanted to get out there, let my talents shine, and show that I, too, can be a constitutional originalist and claim strict adherence to the intent of those who framed our nation’s founding document, thereby advancing a conservative agenda. Pretty sure I nailed it, too. — “Supreme Court Understudy Fills In For Scalia,” […]

Law Schools Now Require Applicants To Honestly State Whether They Want To Go To Law School. — headline for an article in The Onion