Biglaw

Looking Ahead: How To Achieve Success In A Biglaw Firm’s Family Law Practice

This Biglaw partner has the scoop on finding a niche in a practice area that is ‘not for the faint of heart.’

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Lois Liberman – Gittings Global – NE84310

Lois Liberman (Courtesy photo by Gittings Global)

When thinking about Biglaw practice areas, some of the first things that usually come to mind may be corporate or litigation, but there are many other worthwhile practice areas that don’t necessarily fit the stereotypical Biglaw mold — like family law. What does a family law practice look like at a Biglaw firm, and how can attorneys figure out if this is the correct practice area for them?

I recently had the pleasure of chatting with Lois Liberman, co-chair of Blank Rome’s New York City office and former chair/co-chair of the firm’s matrimonial and family law practice group, to get her thoughts on what makes family law an attractive practice area, her popular salon-style series “Look Ahead,” and how to approach mentorship within a Biglaw firm. Here is a write-up of our lively conversation.

Staci Zaretsky (SZ): Why did you become a family law attorney?

Lois Liberman (LL): My story is largely that I was in the right place at the right time. I was a frustrated actress finishing law school and wanted to be in Court right away, so I interviewed with DA’s offices and Legal Aid Offices as part of the on–campus interview program.  One of the interviews I had was with the head of the Family Court unit at Nassau County Legal Aid Society, and we immediately clicked. She asked if I had taken a Family Law course, which I had, and she told me that she thought I would be great in that unit.  

In that first job in the Family Court unit, I was literally thrown into Court! I handled numerous cases each day, many of which I was assigned to day-of, and found myself dealing with people who were in all sorts of terrible situations — from failing to pay child support and being in danger of being thrown in jail, to having children removed from their custody temporarily because they were born with drugs or alcohol in their system, to vicious custody battles or those who were the victim or perpetrator of some act which necessitated an order of protection. While it was hard work, I truly saw that I was making a difference each and every day, and I felt very much a part of the very close-knit group of attorneys in the unit and judges who I appeared before.

After some time, a judge who had been very kind towards me referred me to a matrimonial attorney who had recently lost his paralegal, and within a few weeks, I started working for one of the most well–respected matrimonial attorneys in Long Island. There was a significant adjustment period as I was no longer in court every day working on the fly — instead I was meeting with clients and doing a lot of drafting of papers, which meant effectively telling their stories in order to help get the relief that they were seeking. I remember it initially would take me weeks to write a 10–page affidavit! From there, I learned a great deal, and I ultimately ended up working for my mentor Stan Lotwin in my next role, who helped me become the attorney I am today.

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Family law suits my personality well, because I’m a people person and it requires nonstop problem-solving. It brings me great satisfaction knowing that I have helped my clients navigate through a difficult, emotionally and financially taxing period of change. I am driven to zealously advocate on their behalf to ensure that they and their loved ones are properly set for the future. In particularly heartbreaking matters, I do my best to try to minimize the pain endured during the process. As my career has progressed, I have realized that legally finalizing a marriage is only one part what can be one of the most significant events in a person’s life. There is plenty that comes next! So, a critical part of what I do with people is talk to them about their life after divorce and assist them in coming up with new vision and directions. I have added educational events and ongoing community resources about the next phases in life into my practice.

I want to make a difference in my client’s lives and for the most part, I believe that as a family lawyer, I have been able to achieve that goal.

SZ: What issues, both legal and otherwise, do individuals struggle with the most during divorce?

LL: Family law encompasses some of the most important and sensitive aspects of people’s lives — love, family, home, and money.

Probably the one issue that most separating or divorcing individuals with children struggle with is the fact that they will not be living with their children or seeing them on a daily basis. There will be some time–sharing arrangement which will cause the children to be absent from their homes on certain days, holidays, and vacations as they spend time with the other parent. This can be especially difficult for the stay–at-home parent, if during the marriage all they ever wanted was for their spouse to spend more time with the kids or be more present and involved. It is galling when only after the divorce has commenced does the other parent actually start doing the things that they had been begging them to do during their marriage.

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Co-parenting is a significant source of stress for separated or divorced couples, especially if they have difficulties with communicating or if they truly have different parenting styles. Also, unfortunately there are those who continue to use their children as a weapon to punish the other spouse, and will either try to unfairly thwart their parental access or alienate the children against them.  

Since the pandemic, we are also seeing more cases involving addictive behaviors — alcohol, cannabis, and other drugs — and these substance reliance/abuse issues are impacting child custody arrangements.

There are financial stressors as well. Even in this day and age, there are some who feel that if they earned the money during the marriage, it is their money, and the idea of having to “share” their assets is incredibly upsetting to them. The issue of support (both child support and maintenance) is often a difficult pill to swallow for both sides. It is not uncommon for the payor to think that the amount that they have to pay is too high, and for the payee to think that the amount that they are entitled to receive is much too low. Even with very high wage earners, the reality is that the way the family lived while they were intact is going to change when there are two households to support.  

SZ: What do you tell young attorneys who want to practice matrimonial law?

LL: This practice is not for the faint of heart. While it is never boring, if you are someone who goes into work each day with a list of things to do, and you need to check everything off your list, this is not the practice for you. Because there are always emergencies cropping up, or issues which will turn your schedule upside down, it is not uncommon for you to work for the entire day only to realize you didn’t get to anything you had planned.

Being a family lawyer is a fully client-facing job. You have to be able to handle people who are at their worst and who are experiencing a cascade of emotions. You have to be part lawyer and part therapist at times, and you also have to be patient. There are times when you will find yourself on the receiving end of the wave of emotions that your client cannot take out on their spouse, and you have to understand why that is happening and be focused and wise enough to handle it appropriately.

You have to be a good communicator, a good writer, a good negotiator, and a good draftsperson in family law — usually all at the same time.  

One of the best parts of a career in family law is that it is an area where even as a young lawyer you can begin to build a book of business. You are always going to know someone who is getting married, and most likely you are also going to know someone who will be getting divorced!

SZ: How do you approach mentorship in the firm?

LL: I was fortunate to have many mentors throughout my career, including attorney Stan Lotwin, who was very supportive and pushed me to play important roles in the matters I worked on. Stan always gave me opportunities to weigh in on strategy, argue motions that I helped draft, take depositions, and take part in settlement meetings. He was happy to see me develop strong relationships, which eventually turned into referrals of other clients, and that experience has guided my own approach to mentorship. He also gave me invaluable guidance on navigating the politics of big firm life. Stan instilled in me a desire to pay it forward, and I am committed to doing what I can to help others rise up the ladder of success.

I believe that championing others is a huge part of family law, both for clients and for colleagues. I have always ensured that the associates staffed on my matters felt like they were an important member of the team and that I wanted their input and opinions on the issues we were tackling. I do not just treat my associates as “worker bees.” I want them to be as invested as I am in my matters. It is important to strategize and explain why you are taking a position or pursuing certain relief from the Court. I work closely with the associates on all matters so that they can continue to learn and improve and provide them with opportunities to learn whenever I can, whether that be to argue a motion, take a deposition, or to handle a witness. They recognize that I am invested in their professional advancement.

Whenever possible, I also take the time to get to know my colleagues personally. I want to learn what motivates them and what success looks like to them so that we can figure out a way to reach those goals together. I’m incredibly proud that many of the attorneys I have mentored have gone on to become partners at Blank Rome as well as elsewhere, and have also achieved significant recognition in areas such as diversity, equity, and inclusion and pro-bono leadership.

SZ: What inspired you to start the “Look Ahead” salon series?

LL: I launched the Look Ahead salon series because I believe it is essential to focus on life after divorce. So many of my clients were experiencing similar challenges, and I thought that they could benefit not only from access to information and resources to help them tackle those challenges, but from the realization that they were not alone in their struggles. I also felt that some of my current clients would gain a lot from the experience of helping and supporting others while hearing from those who not only survived but thrived during and after divorce.  

I have worked with and gotten to know many incredible professionals over the years who help transform lives. I tapped into that network and the networks of others to bring these inspirational guests on to the series. Some of the Look Ahead topics we’ve covered are co-parenting with a narcissist, recognizing and dealing with coercive control, getting “unstuck” during and after divorce, taking charge of one’s financial well-being, how to survive the holidays with a blended family, and how to tackle online dating. My goal is not just to help clients end their marriages, but to launch into a meaningful next chapter and beginning.

SZ: What have been the biggest takeaways from the series thus far?

LL: It’s very exciting to see how our Look Ahead community has grown and the engagement we have from those who attend and those who have been guests. The conversations are always refreshingly candid. They might speak to a particular trend or moment in time, or provide more evergreen guidance for those embarking on their next chapter.

Initially, we featured one-to-one interviews with a subject matter expert, such as personal finance guru Jean Chatzky on ways to set yourself up for financial independence. Since then, we have been developing different types of programming, like focusing on how to boost your dating savvy and freshen your look with a panel of multiple experts that included Bumble Chief Branding Officer Selby Drummond, Goop Beauty Editor Jean Godfrey-June, and image consultant Ashley Schafer. Most recently we also had a powerful salon featuring Leigh Weinraub, founder of Human Leigh, who provided participants with invaluable advice on moving forward after divorce or any challenging hurdle in life and embracing new opportunities.

My hope is always that participants will continue to support one another, and strength will be gained from the insight of those who have survived and thrived. As the laws and our cultural attitudes continue to change, Look Ahead will be there as a resource to empower people and help them gain confidence, flourish, and get past a life-changing and often painful experience.

SZ: Would you like to share any advice for women on how to successfully manage a career at a large law firm?

LL: In order to succeed as a female attorney in Biglaw, my belief is that you will need to 1) find a mentor who wants to be invested in your success; 2) find or create a community of women to support one another in achieving your goals; and 3) seek out the assistance of a business development professional who can help you create your own business plan.

It’s always been incredibly important to me that Blank Rome is able to attract and retain top female talent and meet its goals of advancing women into leadership roles. I served as chair and co-chair of Blank Rome’s firmwide matrimonial and family law practice group for five years, from 2013 through 2018, and I was very proud to help develop the “next generation” of attorneys in the group and see it grow to become one of the largest and most diverse such practices in the country. I am now the co-chair of the firm’s New York City office, and in this role, I am able to continue promoting the firm’s values. I am also a member of the partner board at Blank Rome, which helps develop strategy for the firm.

Women in Biglaw, or really in any law firm environment, will need to continue to focus on mentorship, which is essential to creating the next generation of leaders. There are more challenges for both mentors and mentees today, given that most workers have shifted in whole or in part to remote work. This shift in the workplace makes it harder for individuals to connect and create strong bonds with those who can offer them guidance and support.

Whether they are associates or proven leaders, women in law today must take a more thoughtful, creative, and deliberate approach to mentorship and ensuring access and availability. Those who possess the talent to help others must try to be proactive and make mentorship a priority, and those who seek mentorship may need to take extra steps to connect with a great mentor.

I am a strong believer in women’s initiatives in Biglaw, and encourage more women to participate in them. I’ve been closely involved with Blank Rome’s “BR Women” group programming, which has grown to include an annual Women’s Leadership Summit, and it’s led me to form very meaningful connections with other women at the firm. I believe these initiatives are a great opportunity for all women and should continue to be a priority.

On behalf of everyone here at Above the Law, we’d like to thank Lois Liberman for taking the time to help answer these questions on practicing family law and matrimonial law within a Biglaw firm, as well as her expert advice on mentorship.

Staci ZaretskyStaci Zaretsky is a senior editor at Above the Law, where she’s worked since 2011. She’d love to hear from you, so please feel free to email her with any tips, questions, comments, or critiques. You can follow her on X/Twitter and Threads or connect with her on LinkedIn.

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