Ron DeSantis

* Ron DeSantis rammed through massive tort reform in December to the delight of Florida residents who barely understand torts. They’re about to find out what it all means when insurance companies refuse to pay up for Idalia. [Mother Jones]

* Remember the Second Amendment exists to protect your right to hide guns in your belly fat. [People]

* NY AG says Trump overinflated his net worth by upwards of $2.2 billion in a shock to absolutely no one. [CNN]

* Texas GOP’s “Death Star” legislation, designed to give the state legislature the power to strike down local laws and ordinances destroyed like all Death Stars because of tiny, yet fatal, flaw. In this case it’s because it’s entirely unconstitutional. Wow… that’s much bigger than the womp rats I used to target in my T-16 back home. [Law360]

* Alex Murdaugh loses phone privileges. [NY Post]

* Squire Patton Boggs partner set to take break from violent, rough and tumble Biglaw world to referee Rugby World Cup. [LegalCheek]

* In new phase of Hollywood strike, workers have filed comments with the FTC asking it to probe industry consolidation. And while fair compensation is a great reason to break up Hollywood, at least someone has to be mad about WarnerBrosDiscovery doing… any of the things it’s done. [Bloomberg Law News]

* While Sam Alito rewrote laws to help oil and gas exploit more land, his wife was… making land deals with oil and gas companies. But I guess that’s okay because his wife’s money isn’t “adjacent” to him because the couple is not physically “continuously connected.” [The Intercept]

* Law professor who feels persecuted because law schools hire other professors to teach classes about racism is going after a law school for having a “students of color” outreach program. By the end of the week, he’s probably going to have the Supreme Court’s backing on that one. [NY Post]

* So many of the problems facing Ron DeSantis could be solved by taking 10 minutes to read the Constitution. [CBS News]

* California’s ban on using public funds to travel to states with pro-bigotry laws on the books has hurt Black academics who can’t travel to conferences in those states. Which was the obvious outcome. Unless California plans to put resources behind bidding on and hosting all of these national conferences, the policy is always going to turn out this way. [Los Angeles Times]

* The FTC plans to file a sweeping antitrust suit against Amazon in a few weeks. It took a lot longer to deliver than a Prime package, but it’s worth the wait. [Bloomberg Law News]

* UK law firms worried that ChatGPT might be writing job applications. Oh no! How will firms survive once AI learns to write “I think my greatest weakness is that I care too much about the work.” [Law.com International]

* “Privacy Suit Says AI Could ‘Decide To Eliminate The Species.'” Or worse: cover letters. [Law360]

* Downed sub had passengers sign waivers but those aren’t necessarily holding up in court. [Reuters]

* Speaking of the sub, the passenger who missed the tragic dive is a lawyer. [MarketWatch]

* Canada makes Facebook & Google pay media outlets for links. You know what that means, Canadian friends? Time to start posting more humorous and insightful stories from Above the Law! [Wall Street Journal]

* Facebook says it will retaliate by ending news access in Canada entirely. Good luck with that… because people definitely scroll Facebook for the cat pictures. [CNN]

* And George Santos got bail help from… his family. Just like he said. WOW. He said something and then it turned out to be true! [Courthouse News Service]

* Law360 releases its “176 Under 40” list. Real rigorous vetting process there… blowing by the right number for an “under 40” list by a cool 136. [Law360]

* Prosecutor fired by DeSantis for refusing to enforce abortion crimes can’t get his job back because he took six months before filing. Do they have a 6-week limit on this too? [Bloomberg Law News]

* Ron DeSantis bashes Trump’s Supreme Court nominees and pledges more in the mold of Clarence Thomas, which is great news for bribery enthusiasts. [Slate]

* Crowell fighting with landlord. Law firms… they’re just like us! [Reuters]

* A deep dive into the life of America’s dumbest lawyer. [NY Post]

* First year associates are racking up big fees in FTX cases. Well look at that… FTX creating fake value. [Bloomberg Law News]

* New bill seeking to yank 230 immunity from AI provides a salve for stupid people. [Gizmodo]

* Biden administration telling car manufacturers to violate state law to inflate dealership profits. [Yahoo]

* EU doing the antitrust work that the US won’t. [Law360]

* Dale Ho finally confirmed to SDNY. [Roll Call]