Class Actions

* Sam Bankman-Fried objects to “overbroad” bail restrictions. Bail restrictions can be onerous and harassing but these boil down to “please don’t talk to possible witnesses against you or send automatically deleting communications,” which seems… reasonable. Next thing you know they’re going to be telling him he can’t pay fines with magic beans! [Reuters]

* When looking in the mirror in 2023, there’s one question we must all ask ourselves: Was I at Camp Lejeune? I don’t think so, but these ads have got me wondering if I might’ve been stationed there for 5 years and just forgot. [Bloomberg]

* Life Sciences work is going to stay busy. It seems there’s still plenty of money out there despite all the grumbling. [The Recorder]

* It took a Ninth Circuit opinion, but it turns out that, yes, the president can fire people who work for him. Glad we got that settled. [Law360]

* The Prenda Law saga continues as a federal court shuts down the latest attempt of the imprisoned lawyer to file more of the same lawsuits that landed him in prison in the first place. [Ars Technica]

* Class action lawsuit filed against Southwest Airlines over holiday travel meltdown right on schedule… unlike Southwest. [Corporate Counsel]

* Sam Bankman-Fried trial set for October. [New York Law Journal]

* Kasowitz suing Glenn Agre over fees. Glenn Agre partners worked on the matter at Kasowitz before founding Glenn Agre and bringing the work with them. Now that the matter is closed, Glenn Agre earned a success fee and Kasowitz wants a chunk of that. Does Kasowitz pay pro rated bonuses to associates who lateral to other firms mid-year? Because that’s the firm’s logic. [American Lawyer]

* Biden renominates pending judgeship appointments. These nominations may have languished in the last Congress, but there’s now a chance they can get confirmed before the next Speaker. [Reuters]

* DoNotPay, the AI speeding ticket system, is set to defend its first matter in court. [New Scientist]

* It’s probably sociopathic to make “I just killed a deer” part of your online dating banter, but it’s downright stupid when you make it part of your online dating banter while trying to woo a game warden. [CNN]

* Ahoy maties! Maritime firms Jones Walker and Fowler Rodriguez merge. [Daily Business Review]

* Coming legal developments that could revolutionize the law. [Law.com]

* Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law now covers police officers shooting innocent people in the back. [Slate]

* Federal judge calls for “bone-crushing” discovery. Hopefully the sets a new precedent and judges start asking for “disemboweling” briefing and “waterboarding” voir dire. [Law360]

* Another online J.D. program — and this one’s bringing in students with higher LSAT scores than the residential program. [New York Law Journal]

* The good and bad news for employers when it comes to workplace class actions. Isn’t the good news for employers always, “the Supreme Court is about to make these illegal”? [Corporate Counsel]

* Supreme Court looks to further cripple class actions by killing off cases that chasten corporate misconduct but can’t feasibly reimburse every individual victim. So, if you’re planning to injure a bunch of people, make sure to do it in a small and difficult to track manner! [National Law Journal]

* Brexit comes to Biglaw as Kirkland moves its European hub to Paris. [International]

* Biglaw associate suing USA Gymnastics for all the reasons USA Gymnastics is getting sued these days. [American Lawyer]

* Tribes are suing North Dakota over its naked effort to disenfranchise Native Americans. [National Law Journal]

* Shocking absolutely no one, the EEOC finds that the #MeToo movement has not resulted in a surge in false allegations. [Law.com]

* This lawsuit against Spirit Airlines uses a lot of fast food analogies but misses the most apt: flying Spirit Airlines is like willfully going to the dirtiest Sbarro you can find and being shocked. [Law360]

* The legal battle over Selendy & Gay’s billings following the departure from Quinn Emanuel pits contractual obligations against legal ethics. [New York Law Journal]

* ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT FILED! Against Rod Rosenstein. Alternative headline: In stunning turn, Rep. Jim Jordan demands accountability as long as it’s not for years of systematic sexual abuse. [Huffington Post]

* That Shook Hardy attorney who argued that a woman got pregnant in a diabolical nine-month scheme to delay trial? Yeah, he’s been suspended. [Daily Business Review]

* The Fifth Circuit’s James Ho isn’t so much a judge as a political hack in a robe. That Orin Kerr Tweet from April was just the canary in the mine. [NPR]

* Facebook GC Colin Stretch will pursue his lifelong passion of becoming the moderator of the Facebook Alumni Facebook Group. [Corporate Counsel]

* Trump’s ethics expert will also be leaving the job that he’s ostensibly been performing. [The Hill]

* Shareholder class actions are on the upswing this year. Gather ye rosebuds while ye don’t have Judge Kavanaugh declaring Rule 23 a First Amendment violation. [National Law Journal]

* Roy Moore sues PAC over negative campaign ads. Discovery should be fun. [Courthouse News Service]

* Larry Nassar wants a new sentencing hearing. See, this is what happens when judges grandstand and rip up letters to advance their political career — they just give these guys an in to try and futz with the sentence. [ESPN]